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he Story of Me.
Well, once upon a time, not so long ago in a city so very at the heart of
everything, a beautiful baby girl was born. But that has little to do with
me, so let’s forget that one. I was born at 1:07 AM, in Drumheller,
Alberta, Canada on the 14th day of October, 1965. That is exactly 999
years to the day of the Battle of Hastings, where William the Conqueror
defeated the Saxon King Harold for rule of Britain. What has that to do
with me? Again, nothing, but I’m filling space to make an otherwise boring
life look incredibly rich.
I grew up in a home where my father was on the road a lot, and my mother
often followed. I was the oldest of three boys and was put into the care
of my grandparents for much of my young life. In 1975, my father passed
away, and I was sent back home with my mother, who was ill equipped to try
and raise 3 rambunctious children on her own. As such, I was too much for
her to handle and went back with my grandparents after several tumultuous
years. Writing was an escape from this, and all my free time was spent
writing fantasy escapist stories.
Raised by strict, but very loving grandparents, I grew out of my
rebellious years and learned how to be a man. Or so I thought. I saw
things in black and white, and was a very hard man to please. I married in
mid 1986, and was divorced by early 1988. That was the Year of Darkness,
as I refer to it now. My wife left me for my best friend, and both my
grandparents passed away. My world completely dissolved around me.
The next few years are a bit foggy, as drink and wild women filled my
life. To say it was fun would be an understatement. It was great, but I
was not happy. My life was hollow, and I was nothing like the man I had
hoped to be; that I thought I was when my grandparents were alive. My
writing was placed on a shelf, and there it would stay for many years. I
bought an acreage and my brother and I raised purebred Morgan Horses.
In 1991, I met my soulmate, Rizpah. She would bring me back from the edge
of the abyss, and give me something to live for. A year later, my daughter
was born, in an emergency surgery that nearly cost both of them their
lives. Melissa-Ann was born 10 weeks early, 3 lbs 6 ounces, and spent
nearly 2 months in the hospital. I prayed to the god I had grown to hate
after the death of my grandparents, whom I had blamed and declared an
outright war. I prayed that He let them both live, and that I would put
aside my hate, that I would dedicate myself to being a good man once more.
Melissa-Ann would live, and would be my pride and joy; my Critter, as I
called her, much to her mother’s chagrin. I knew that was her nickname in
that brief few seconds after she was born that they let me touch her and
she gripped my little finger with fingers of her own that were no wider
than toothpicks, just before she was rushed to the neo-natal unit. My
Critter.
Rizpah and I took Melissa-Ann home shortly before my birthday, weighing
less than 5 lbs. We dressed her in Cabbage Patch doll clothes, as at that
time, preemie baby clothes were still too big for her. Toys-R-Us was our
clothing store. So there were the 4 of us; myself, Shannel (Rizpah’s
daughter from her first marriage, whom I consider my eldest daughter),
Rizpah and Melissa-Ann. It was wonderful for a time; but happiness was
never to last.
Rizpah’s health continued to deteriorate, and we lost a baby. In 1996, we
gave up the acreage and moved to Calgary to be closer to her doctors. Near
Christmas of 1998, she passed away. In the next few years, I repeated all
the mistakes my mother had made and I had condemned her for. I desperately
tried to find a mother for my children, and in doing so brought misery to
a great many people. Pain seems to be the legacy I leave those whom I
touch.
My daughters are moved on, raising beautiful daughters of their own. I
could not be prouder of either of them, though I live far from them and
have little in the way of regular contact. Instead, I have turned from a
person of the world, to one of self imposed exile. I try to keep to
myself; trying to avoid causing pain to more innocent lives.
In April of 2007, I discovered this site, as I was trying to rediscover my
love for writing. Since then, I have immersed myself into it. I live
through this site, using it to get back into writing. The people here have
made me feel welcomed, and it has come to mean so very much to me. On the
RPG side, I have developed a persona that I had always wanted to be in
real life. In Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin, I can be the man I had wanted to
be.
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